Shallow End Summer

A recap of my week in Malibu.

Jun 07, 2025

Dear Friends,

I am writing to you from Zinqué Malibu. We are here celebrating my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary (!!!). We visit Malibu a couple of times of year and it still feels surreal that Malibu is one of our “places”.

For some context, my husband’s extended family has a home here - so we have the good fortune of staying at their property when we visit. And as I shared in my last essay, Writing From My Joy, I am presently committed to sharing the stories of “my greatest delights” and visiting Malibu is high on my list of delightful.

To refresh your memory, within Writing From My Joy, I shared:

“I have written thousands of words intimately describing my hardships and very few words detailing all of the magic in my life. I am not going to set hard parameters but, for the foreseeable future, I am going to share stories that manifest from my greatest delights. I am going to savor every ounce of beauty and pleasure and love and kindness and joy and I am going to tell you those stories.

And I am going to dream. I am going to envision the futures of my wildest fantasies - and then, I am going to show and tell you the story that manifests from me believing in the unseen.”

I wrote that while I was ovulating. LOL.

Nevertheless, here we are now, in the last days of my luteal phase, and those sentiments feel a little harder to reach… When will I learn to be more mindful of the commitments I make on Days 12-16 of my cycle?

I am slightly teasing as I share that, but also very serious. Because, wow, thankfully my luteal downswing is not as harsh as it used to be and Days 25-28 do not bring the same effervescent energy that I enjoy mid-cycle.

So, as I sit here on Day 26 - before I share some of this week’s beauty - I want to reflect on an IG post that my friend Maggie recently shared.

Maggie Hilpisch, is a human design guide and facilitator (and also a big time muse and expander for me). She is a gem of a human.

Last week, Maggie posted a Reel on her IG that encapsulated some of thoughts that have been percolating as I have contemplated my magic and joy.

As I have shared many times, after my daughter was born (almost 6 years ago), I experienced life-altering postpartum anxiety and depression. At a year postpartum, accessing magic and joy felt nearly impossible.

At that point in my life, I would have been more annoyed than inspired by the stories of someone having their own personal pleasure renaissance.

Maggie speaks to that in this reel:

maggiehilpisch

A post shared by @maggiehilpisch

The caption of the post so eloquently said:

“There are moments in our lives where we can’t dream about the next five years; we need to focus on the next five minutes instead. And if you’re in that season of life, I want you to know that I see you and you’re not alone.

Some seasons of life invite us to dream big, and other seasons ask us to take one baby step at a time through the dense fog of our circumstances. And while you may want to hermit or self-isolate, I encourage you to find someone who feels like a safety net for you, and to ask them to help hold your hand as you navigate through unknown waters, one step at a time.”

So, as I sit here on Day 26 of my cycle - a little less enthused than when I wrote my last essay a couple of weeks back - I want to extend heartfelt empathy and solidarity to anyone experiencing a “dark night” right now.

I’ve had a few dark nights in this lifetime, my last one lasted almost 4 years.

By the end of it, I would have been open to (but skeptical of) someone sharing the bright spots of their life… At my darkest though, I would have been annoyed by someone’s expansion and joy. And that’s okay.

My writings might not be for you right now.

Yet, as Maggie shared, please find “someone who feels like a safety net”...

I had a lot of safety nets back then: weekly calls with my therapist, acupuncture 2x a month, and monthly reiki sessions with Olivia Hughes.

I needed all the help I could get - and even with it, luxuriating in sensuality and dreaming wild dreams felt far from my reach… It may be hard to believe right now, but I promise, it will get better. Maybe not today, but someday even the littlest of things will make you feel elated.

My door is always open, and I am happy to point you towards helpful resources if your present season feels like too much (or numb - like nothing at all)…

Nevertheless, if you want to be expanded by my present expansion, please keep reading.

Beauty, Pleasure, Love, Kindness, Joy:

Style Vibes:

A few weeks ago, I joked that I was going to have a “Shallow End Summer” - but who are we kidding, existentialism is a pastime for me. To honor some of that vibe, I’m going to start by sharing my favorite outfits of this week.

It was a bit chilly when we went to Venice for the day, so I took some style-inspo from Sloan (who only layers dresses over pants) and paired this Dhruv Kapoor beaded dress over orange cargo pants. I felt great + got lots of compliments:

I discovered Dhruv Kapoor through Nuuly.

A few years ago, when I was experiencing my dark night, I pretty much lived in black yoga pants and black crewneck sweatshirts. So, I am very happy that outfits like this feel easy to put together and that they match how I am feeling on the inside:

Also, how perfect was this dress for the Topanga Farmers Market? I love maxi dresses because they are as comfortable as PJs and effortlessly vibing:

I got both of the dresses from my Nuuly subscription, scroll to the link section to receive $20 off your first order (I’ll get $20 off, too).

A Day Date with My Boys:

I absolutely love Anima Mundi, so anytime I’m in LA, I always make a quick trip into Venice to enjoy a beverage and hand select a few goodies IRL at their West Coast flagship. On Tuesday, we decided to make the trek and Sloan wanted to stay back with her grandparents so it was just Alex, Silas, and me.

Alex and I rarely get the opportunity to be with one of our kids at a time, so it was a special treat to have just Silas with us (and it definitely inspired us to make regular dates with just one kid a more frequent activity).

Our first stop was Anima Mundi, Alex and I both got the Mood Boost Hot Choco. Silas got a cookie:

Their shop is truly dreams:

Hanging shelves with herbs are in my home's future.

I brought home a big bag of their Heirloom Cacao and their Golden Sun Milk powder.

After Anima Mundi, Alex wanted to check out Mollusk Surf Shop so we perused the boards there before eating at Great White:

Alex and I shared their Harvest Bowl and a Breakfast Burrito. It’s wild how a chef can make a bowl of vegetables so delicious! The Harvest Bowl may have been my favorite meal of the week.

After lunch, while Alex went to pick out some new shorts at Mollusk, Silas and I walked to the beach to watch the skaters at Venice Beach Skatepark:

The best skater there was a woman in her late 50s. She was beyond cool.

Who Am I Today?:

Recently, I have been writing “Who Am I Today?” on the first line of a blank journal page. And, reflecting on what I have in store for that day, I write-out how I want to show up and who I want to be.

Re-orienting myself, from the lens of my highest Self, at the start of everyday has been incredibly impactful. Should I share an entry?

Hope Portal:

Kristia Tippett is one of my most beloved teachers and thought-leaders. Anytime I am in a funk, I return to an old episode of the On Being podcast and within minutes, my heart feels softer.

This summer, Krista is guiding conversations on “hope”. Speaking to luminaries of our time… Over the course of 6 weeks, the podcast will offer: “rich and actionable invitations for a muscular, reality-based hope… ways of seeing and living to lay our hands and our hearts, our imaginations and life force on the generative possibilities of life in this time.”

I have listened to the first two episodes and journaled on their provided writing prompts - and my heart and mind already feel expanded. At the end of the series, I will share an essay that reflects on my experiences both listening to and answering their journal prompts.

I invite you to join me, the World needs more people actively engaged in generative hope.

Gratitude:

I’m no longer at the cafe, I am presently sitting on the bed in the room we sleep in here. And from this bed, I can hear the waves crashing onto the shore. The sound lulls us to sleep at night and it keeps us all sleeping past 8AM in the morning.

At night, Alex and I sit out on the beach… and when the sky is clear, it looks like we are in a snow globe. From this beach, the horizon line almost appears to be circular. And as the moon has grown in size this past week, we have had the pleasure of watching the waves sparkling with its light.

It’s magical. I want to remind you to pay attention to the magic. Energy flows where attention goes…

And the greatest magic of this week has lived in the people I am with: as I mentioned, we are here celebrating 50+ years of love. In total, Alex’s parents have either been best-friends, dating, or married for 58 years. An entire lifetime. And it’s important to note, their love is still alive. You can feel their love.

They laugh together. They go out of their way to help each other out. You can feel that they genuinely (still) enjoy spending time together.

A couple of nights ago - after the kids went to sleep - Alex, his parents, and I stayed up watching old home-movies on his dad’s laptop. For a moment, I had a flash to 43 years into our future.

It is my greatest dream that someday Alex and I will celebrate 50 years of marriage with our kids and our potential future grandkids.

Thanks for the inspo Barbara and Micahel ❤️

Speaking of dreams, in my next essay, I am going to reflect on another one of Maggie’s IG posts and share some of my grandest visions… I’m so curious though - what would YOU like to hear from me? I am open to feedback and want to keep the good vibes rolling all Summer.

With love,

Julia