Pleasure Activism

Introducing a new recurring series - Too Hot to Not - by reminding you that the female clitoris is the only organ on the planet designed specifically for pleasure.

Dear Friends and Readers,

My most treasured objects are books…Every book I’ve read has had its own way of seeping into my real life.

I spent the last 1.5 years reading Romantasy books. For those unfamiliar, a solid Romantasy novel blends romance, sex, magic, and fantasy. When the genre first gained popularity, I scoffed at the thought of reading fairy porn.

For years, I pompously read historical fiction and acclaimed literary masterpieces… In 2021, I read Octavia E. Butler’s award-winning Parable of the Sower… And, my Octavia E. Butler enchantment led me to the work of adrienne maree brown.

adrienne maree brown is both a genius and a scholar - reading adrienne’s book - Pleasure Activism - was truly a turning point for me.

In her words - on pg. 13 of the introduction:

“Pleasure activism includes work and life lived in the realms of satisfaction, joy, and erotic aliveness that bring about social and political change.”

It has taken me years to metabolize and embody the belief that I need to become my most expanded, liberated Self in order to help create an expanded, liberated World.

Audre Lorde described herself as “Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet”.

Pleasure Activism opens with an essay written by Audre Lorde. Originally published in 1978, Lorde’s essay Uses of the Erotic - The Erotic as Power radically positioned eroticism as a source of women’s spiritual actualization.

A line from the essay awakened something within me:

“But the erotic offers a well of replenishing and provocative force to the woman who does not fear its revelation, nor succumb to the belief that sensation is enough.”

That ending - “belief that sensation is enough” - began to haunt me.

Sensation was all I ever experienced with intimacy… Truthfully - my mommy/daddy issues, a limited vision of satisfying sex, and my experiences with sexual violence had historically inhibited my capacity to both desire and receive pleasure.

From the time I started having sex as a teenager to my mid-thirties, I never experienced a full release during sex…and to be clear, when I say full release, I mean an orgasm with ejaculation.

Through my own anecdotal conversations, I have come to learn that most women do not regularly receive orgasms from their partners nor do they ejaculate during sex. Many women allow sensation to be enough because they don’t have the capacity to receive pleasure.

Which is crazy…considering this:

“The female clitoris is the only organ in the human body whose purpose is exclusively that of erotic stimulation and release. What does this mean? It means that for the human female, alone among all earth’s life forms, sexuality and reproduction are not inseparable. It is the male penis, carrier of both semen and sexual response that is simultaneously procreative and erotic” - pg. 5 of The Great Cosmic Mother by Monica Sjöö and Barbara Mor

I have spent a lot of time considering the fact that the clit is the only organ on this planet designed exclusively for pleasure… and so many women are sexually repressed.

I’ll share more on those contemplations in the future…

Before I say more, I need to clarify what I mean when speak of pleasure and eroticism. Sex is one of many, many ways to experience erotic satisfaction. For me, pleasure most often happens outside of the bedroom… Yet, it’s notable to share: experiencing non-sexual pleasure has expanded my sexual enjoyment.

And now that I have crossed the threshold from sensation to experiencing the erotic as a “replenishing and provocative force” - I feel called to share my journey. I think it’s important that more women hear stories like mine: the tale of a sexually repressed new mom evolving into a sexually expanded woman.

Lorde offered an allegory that mirrors my own experience:

“During World War II, we bought sealed plastic packets of white, uncolored margarine, with a tiny, intense pellet of yellow coloring perched like a topaz just inside the clear skin of the bag. We would leave the margarine out for a while to soften, and then we would pinch the little pellet to break it inside the bag, releasing the rich yellowness into the soft pale mass of margarine. Then taking it carefully between our fingers, we would knead it gently back and forth, over and over, until the color had spread throughout the whole pound bag of margarine, thoroughly coloring it.

I find the erotic such a kernel within myself. When released from its intense and constrained pellet, it flows through and colors my life with a kind of energy that heightens and sensitizes and strengthens all my experience.”

To bring things full circle, in the Romantasy series, Throne of Glass, Sarah J Maas wrote: “You must enter where you fear to tread.”

And for me, writing about sex is incredibly uncomfortable. Nevertheless, as much as I try to avoid it, it keeps coming (puns) to me in my meditations.

Social justice consumes most of my thoughts. And right now, I am realizing that encouraging others to expand their capacity to experience and receive pleasure is a form of my activism.

My life feels so good today. And through my good fortune, my conscience has continuously confronted me with all of the ways that I am deeply complicit in many of our World’s greatest atrocities. I am not riding on a pink cloud of pleasure ignoring the needs of my fellows while I overindulge. Instead, I am enjoying myself and resourcing myself in generative ways - via pleasure - to sustain my capacity to show up for humankind.

brown and Lorde have taught me that my advocacy begins with me. My light is needed to extinguish the proverbial dark.

So, I began to reflect… and I realized that my sexual awakening - my connection to my erotic power - began when I started to romanticize my life - every single day:

The salty candle lit baths. Eating my favorite foods with a full presence. Praying over my food and drinks. Dawn/Dusk walks. A vase of fresh flowers. Reading for joy. Using my most luxurious body oil every day. Learning the names/calls of the birds in my yard. Laying naked in the sun. Intentionally dressing myself. Listening to an album from start to finish.

And one day, while I was praying, journaling, sitting with my tea, talking to Oneness - I asked how I could be of service.

And I received the idea to create something that would inspire people to be more present with their sensuality. During every class I facilitate, at some point, I ask the practitioners to place both hands on their heart.

I invite you to place your hands on your heart right now.

If you were able to do so, you probably feel your heart beating.

Whatever you draw your attention to amplifies.

So I thought, what if I asked my favorite people to share their favorite sensual experiences - so I can share them with you…

The more we pay attention to sensual things - the more sensuality we will invite into our lives.

So I reached out to my Book Club and said this:

“I am starting a series on my Substack called Too Hot to Not and it’s basically a recurring series to celebrate beauty, collective expansion, and sensuality.”

Books were the doorway to my sexual liberation - so I thought it was fitting to ask my Book Club ladies to be the first guests in this series.

I asked them to send me their favorite things to taste, smell, feel, hear, and see. I asked them to send me a list of things that turned them on non-sexually. And I asked them to send me a short story on collective wellbeing - an imagination of how the World could be a more harmonious place.

And lastly, I said: “send 2 or 3 photos of yourself that make you look at YOU and say DAMN I’M HOTT.”

With the intention to inspire me (and you) to live more sensual lives, I will regularly include “Too Hot to Not” features at the end of various essays. And I am referring to the series as “Too Hot to Not” because as I was imagining this series, I saw this clip of the late Catherine O’Hara as Moira Rose:

All that said, I am humbled and honored to introduce you to a few of the WOMEN in my beloved Book Club. Presently, we are reading Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ Women Who Run With the Wolves.

I will conclude this essay with links to all the books I referenced <3

Thank you for reading and truly, enjoy.

With love,

Julia

Audrey Herrington -

Sensuality:

Taste: salty hot skin, herbal cough drops, flower nectar

Smell: hot toast, tomato vine, honeysuckle

Hear: wind chimes, cracking fire, song birds, beautiful voices singing

See: colored sky at twilight, shadows of light and trees, people dancing and embracing with love

A Short Story on Collective Wellbeing:

Collective wellbeing asks all who belong, to play along: a community to support a shared way of being. To me collective wellbeing looks like love and respect for one another, clean water, organic local food, garden tending and closeness to nature, access to education, supportive technology, cultural and artistic opportunity, rituals of healing practice and preventative medicine, celebration of life and death, and reverence for a greater power. Collective wellbeing is belonging. There is such a complex tapestry of gifted, creative, and caring humans in the world, all with a unique spark shining from within. Our skills and talents are the building blocks for our collective dream of wellbeing. You are necessary in the birth of a healthier humanity.

-

Audrey invites you to follow your nose to @intuitiveEssence_ for beautiful potions that smell good, and astrological magic.

Tess Collins

Sensuality:

Taste: Fruit in season, a good fucking cappucino

Smell: Rainforest, Any herb/plant blooming, steaming hot handmade baked goods (still in the oven or freshout!)

Feel: Warm ocean, moss, a sense of calm within a room

Hear: Waves/moving water, wind on treetops, genuine laughter, tibetan singing bowls (live)

See: Fire and Water, Care

A List of Turn-Ons:

-Nature

-When people are IN their body and present

-Food made slowly with love and care

-Deep eye contact without an agenda

-Slow meandering mornings

-Night sky

-Post workout endorphins

-Post meditation/acupuncture feeling-tone

A Short Story on Collective Wellbeing:

The medicine we need for collective wellbeing is a recipe and a mashup of connectedness:

connected to the body

connected to earth

connected to community

connected to peace

-

Tess invites you to close your eyes and ride the waves of a couple natural breaths, go outside, give yourself a (real) compliment, and find movement offerings @travelingbygroove IG <3

Micaela Hamakawa

Sensuality:

Taste: The sea (via oysters!), queso dip (got me through college), salmon sashimi (so buttery and elegant to me), Van Leeuwen Earl Grey Tea ice cream, anything lavender, cold water, coffee, matcha, Chamomile tea with honey, and almost any hot sauce!

Smell: Sweet pea flowers, Star Jasmine flowers, eucalyptus, lavender, the ocean air, coffee, matcha, campfire, Coco Mademoiselle Chanel perfume

Feel: Beach sand, the ocean, Cozy cotton sweats, my Oracle cards, smooth crystals, the sun on my skin, piano keys, my jade bracelet, my sweet cat Kai, the cramp in my stomach from laughing so hard with people I love, a soft blanket, rings on my fingers, a hot bath or shower

Hear: Birds chirping, ocean waves rolling and crashing, all kinds of music, laughter, people singing, trees blowing in the wind, coqui frogs in Hawaii while I sleep, the rain, certain peoples’ speaking voices that strike a chord in me, my cat meowing

See: Anything teal / turquoise / light blue / sage green / light pink colored, my cat, CORGIS, my

loved ones, the ocean, thick rainforest (Hawaii specifically), animals of all kinds, flowers, people

having fun, art of all kinds, sweet moments between strangers, people going about their lives

(especially when I travel to a new place)

A List of Turn-Ons:

Oysters. Salmon sashimi. Flowers. Experiencing other places, people and cultures. Making jewelry. Books. Art of all kinds! The occasional extra dirty or espresso martini. Dancing in nature with people I love. Tears-streaming, stomach aching laughter. Live music. Beautiful ambiance / lighting / aesthetic in any space. Unique items. Connecting with Spirit / my own Divinity / my Guides / other peoples’ Guides. An impactful Psychic / Mediumship or Reiki session for a client or myself. A good story. Making films. Making music. Taking a great photo. Trinkets (especially miniature things!). Antique items. Cool stickers. Vintage clothing. A clean, naturally-lit space. Yoga. Dreaming (vivid, lucid, astral travel and just daydreaming). Writing. Singing. Putting together a killer outfit that I feel authentically myself and good in! Hiking. Connecting with friends and family on a deep level. Feeling truly seen and understood by someone. When something truly magical and unexplainable happens. Receiving signs and messages from the Divine in all kinds of capacities.

A Short Story on Collective Wellbeing:

“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”- Arundhati Roy

If there is anything that I know in my Soul without a shadow of a doubt, it’s that a kinder, more inclusive, more harmonious, more loving, more caring world is being birthed. I can see and feel it happening; bit by bit, day by day; a world where we as a people live from our hearts and from a place of Love, rather than fear. A world where community and true, deep care for the self, the other, and the entire world, including our beautiful Earth, are the things of value. A world where communities of people take care of each other and the land, and where greed has no place. A world where people are no longer at war with themselves, and consequently the people and world around them. A world where people are safe to live so freely in their authenticity and divinity and light. A world where the light has won, which to my core, I believe it already has.

-

Micaela invites you to connect deeper to yourselves through her psychic and medium offerings, her beautiful handmade jewelry, her life musings, and to enjoy her latest film: The Cage We Choose.

Links to Things Mentioned:

Parable of the Sower - written by Octiva E. Butler

Pleasure Activism - written by adrienne maree brown

The Great Cosmic Mother - written by Monica Sjöö and Barbara Mor

Uses of the Erotic - The Erotic as Power - written by Audre Lorde:

Written Form

Audio Version Read by Audre Lorde

Women Who Run With the Wolves - written by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

My Favorite Romantasy Series:

A Court of Thorns and Rose - written by Sarah J. Maas

Fourth Wing - written by Rebecca Yarros

Throne of Glass - written by Sarah J. Maas

Cover Image: Pussy Power by Favianna Rodriguez