Chop Wood, Carry Water
Because when I write, when the time is right, words flow out of my fingers. Reflections on life as a ceremony.
It’s 12:30 PM on Tuesday afternoon.
It’s been days, if not more than a week, since I have sat with creative intentions…
And before I move on, I want to share that I fumbled with those words:
creative intentions
artistic intentions
channeling
Honestly, as of late, I do feel like I am channeling when I create. Whether it’s a guided meditation, a tea blend, my Friday AM in-studio Rest class, or a Substack essay - I feel like the ideas are moving through me (versus from me). It feels divine - both literally and figuratively.
This past week-ish though, my attention has been pulled to other things…
Things that felt extraneous and exhausting: folding endless loads of laundry, non-stop dishes, THREE MEALS A DAY FOR 4 PEOPLE, the silent auction basket I agreed to organize… And, as much as I am looking forward to celebrating my favorite guy – I have felt overwhelmed by the tasks for the little party we are throwing for Silas’ birthday this weekend.
There are Deeper Than Shallow things that I am struggling with: trying to independently build an e-commerce website, social media, learning how to record and edit video (for digital Rest classes I want to record). And wowzers, the physical act of going to USPS to ship my beloved teas (that I am over-the-moon excited to share) feels so hard. Do you, too, struggle to ship things or is it just me?
There are also the things that I choose to do, that I often, unfortunately, de-prioritize (because of industrial capitalism cultural influences) like: preparing/eating nourishing meals, moving my body, and honoring healthy rest/exertion boundaries.
And, most importantly, everyday I spend intentional time doing something pleasurable: really sitting with my tea, a walk at dawn/dusk, reading, quality time with a loved one, dancing, sex with my amazing husband, a long bath, a delicious meal, writing this essay that you’re reading…I am very intentional about my pleasure right now.
However, more often than I care to admit, I experience angst as I do many of those things because I feel like those things pull from the time I have to offer to my creativity.
This morning though, I had a real epiphany:
A thought popped into my head and it shifted everything. It said:
Everything is part of the process.
All of the things - the daily tasks, the self-nourishment and care, the play - interconnect and influence my creative spaces.
Intellectually, I’ve known that forever - however, it finally clicked on a cellular level.
And this has all been building. For instance, my last essay, Beyond Words, was inspired by a podcast I had listened to as I washed a sink full of dishes.
And today, I did a bunch of odds-and-ends around my house before I sat down to write this essay. Things I have been putting off - like hosing mud off of Sloan’s white butterfly Vans and scheduling eye-doctor appointments. I also returned my Nuuly (shipping, blah).
And, as I was doing those things, I would feel these surges of “I’m falling behind”...
I believe those surges stem from anxiety tied to my desire to achieve personally and financially. And, I also realized that my angst comes from the fact that I place greater value on the time I spend creating.
My creative space feels luxurious - I enter this space so intentionally. Prayers are prayed. Sacred smoke is lit. Crystals are placed. I am even intentional with my beverages.
I am radically present.
And that little thought - everything is part of the process - reminded me that I need to bring the same presence (and reverence and sensuality) that I invite into my creative spaces to the time that I spend proverbially chopping wood and carrying water.
For years, I have intellectually considered life as a ceremony and today, for the first time, I really dropped that knowing into my body.
I knew I wanted to write today and I thought I was going to write about my experience barely passing my IIN Hormonal Health certification test last week. Yet, today, I kept doing the next right thing, which took longer than I had anticipated, and by the time I sat down to write, all the things I did today acted as a catalyst for this essay.
And even though I had initially felt “behind”… When I sat down to write, my writing room was beaming with soft, warm light. And the act of writing felt effortless.
Because when I write, when the time is right, words flow out of my fingers.
I ended my last essay with contemplations and here are a couple of more:
Without the goal of perfection, how can I infuse presence, reverence, and sensuality into the mundane?
Without the goal of perfection, how can I embody the practice of life as a ceremony?
My sincerest thank you for reading ❤️
Nourishment, Rituals, and Devotions
My spin on Eat, Pray, Love.
Nourishment:
Last Saturday, I received nourishment in the form of Dance Church. San Diego Dance Church is led by Tess Collins and she is truly one of the best movement facilitators I have had the pleasure of moving with.
Highly suggest finding Tess IRL and seeing if you have a Dance Church in your town:
Rituals:
Recently I wrote about the ritual of a candle lit, salty bath. And I am here to also advocate for the regular-lit bath with snacks.
I could easily read my book and eat from my adult snack plate: cheese, crackers, strawberries, and dark chocolate.
Highly recommend a snack bath.
Devotion:
A couple of weeks ago, I started Kabbalah One and the practices have been energetically transformational.
I am keeping this close to my heart right now. Yet, I felt called to share the course because the impacts have been profound.
Rest, Resistance, Rebellion:
Rest:
A Simple Four Minute Practice
Find a comfortable place to lay down. Press Play on This Song:
Lay on the ground and be still. Or, gently stretch on your back. When the song is over, gently sit up, take a breath, and set an intention.
Resistance:
Nellie Rose Coffy’s weekly love letter is one of my new favorite emails to receive.
She recently included The Resistance Reading List
Sign up to receive her weekly love letters here.
Rebellion:
On Saturday evening, my friend Lisette and I led a ceremony together at Sojourn Healing Collective. We named the circle Spiritual Alchemy and we had set the intention to inspire internal transformation through connections with Venus, Tea, Reiki + Sound Healing.
A few minutes into our 40ish minute sound healing, a loud party formed directly outside the studio door.
Many times, I considered going outside and asking them to relocate.
Instead, I dropped deeper into the moment and decided to offer the gift of duality to our participants.
The World is so very loud right now. It is truly an act of rebellion to decide to be still and silent. It is rebellious to find joy, everyday.
I encourage you to continue to be soft and still and at ease alongside the noise and the chaos.
Always appreciate your words and ability to articulate so much of how I feel ❤️
This is beautiful, Julia! Loved reading this piece ♡ And thank you for the shout out!